Kim's Journey To Motherhood

Melancholy and the infinite hormones

I was looking around Twitter last night and realized that most of the infertility/TTC people I follow have either gotten pregnant, had a baby or moved on to a childfree existence or adoption.  While I’m thrilled for all of them, it makes me remember how long we’ve been on this road…how long these scars have marked my emotions.  

IVF is totally different the second time around.  I don’t feel as militant as I was the first time.  If that makes sense.  I’m not hopeless, but I just don’t feel the same fire in me.  Maybe it’s because this IVF has not gone according to plan.  Maybe it’s because the last one resulted in loss followed by loss and failure with the FETs.  Either way, it’s different.  

Maybe these emotions are all real, but they’re certainly made more heightened by the meds I’m on.  I was cranky as all heck last night.  And that crankiness turned into melancholy.  Then I fell asleep.  

Today is a new day.

Do you guys ever feel this way?